Leviticus 18:22 by Hannah A Dunn

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(Three different speakers each read one scripture. I stand in front, looking at my Bible as if reading the scriptures)

Leviticus 18:22- “Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable.”

Romans 1:26-27- “Because of this, God gave them over to shameful lusts. Even their women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women and were inflamed with lust for one another. Men committed indecent acts with other men, and received in themselves the due penalty for their perversion.”

1 Corinthians 6: 9-10- “Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God?
Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor catamites nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.”

Hannah: I was raised with these words. The Bible was the backbone of my life, and I believed whole heartedly everything it said. My family was very conservative, so I grew up with the ideas that “the gays,” people who had abortions, and basically anyone who didn’t subscribe to our version of Christianity were doomed to hell. I accepted that doctrine without question, judging anyone and everyone as I had been taught.

In middle school, I realized that I was, well, different. As all my friends started going out with their first boyfriends, I found myself looking at my friends themselves. I would think about how pretty my friends were, not how hot the boys were. It was confusing. What did it all mean? Could I be gay?

Perish the thought! Gays were sinners, they were destined for hell. The Bible says so. It calls them detestable! There was no way I could be gay! I was the pastor’s daughter, the perfect child—I couldn’t even consider the possibility.
As the pastor’s daughter, I lived in a fishbowl. I was expected to be more than perfect. There was no “just being a kid.” With my Mary Janes and perfect Sunday school answers, model interactions with my family and respectful nature, I was the model child. But even as the model child, everyone in the church would watch just to see you slip up, to catch you doing something that would somehow prove you were human.

The idea that I was somehow different filled me with fear. I couldn’t bring that shame on my family. What would they say? What would the church say about us, that my family had raised me to live a life in sin?
My mom spends all her energy trying to live up to the insane expectations steeped upon us. Anything that could threaten her status was eliminated. I asked my mom once what she would do if I told her I was gay. She said that I’d never step foot in her house again. Even me, her daughter, can’t stand in the way of her reputation within the church.
I continued through life, and as time passed, I continued trying to suppressing the thoughts, hiding the truth from myself. I thought that if I fought it hard enough I would be able to turn normal. But I could never suppress all of the doubts and insecurities.

So, I tried to rationalize it. I studied scripture, prayed, and doubted. I realized that the new covenant created through Jesus threw out the laws of judgment and damnation preached in the Old Testament. And the verses in the New Testament weren’t necessarily referring to homosexuality, but maybe to incest and bestiality. We don’t know.
I came to this conclusion—the Bible does not have any concrete verses against homosexuality. Some may claim that it does. This includes my family. They don’t take Jesus’ message of love and acceptance as the highest law.

As I work at coming out here on campus, people might not always like what I have to say. My family doesn’t know yet, but it’s a process. Other Christian groups here on campus might not even agree with who I am, what I’m doing, or what I stand for. People judge me because of my sexuality, without even getting to know me, or changing their minds based on one little fact.
My confession—I don’t care what others say. I am a Christian, and I am gay. I’m not ashamed of either of these things. God loves me just the way I am. I don’t need the church to accept me or my family to stand behind me. I know that I am a beloved child of God, no matter who else I love.

Performed live in the Hahne Theater on November 16th, 2010 with The F-Word Ladies show conFessions.


A Missed conFession

Our show has ended. And as we look over e-mails, photos, friend requests, comments, we realized that we have missed a conFession that was submitted to us. We feel deeply sorry to this individual that dedicated time to submit us a conFession. In order to make up for it, we decided to post the conFession on our blog.

We haven't asked the author if this was o.k. But we wish that we could have done more to persent this conFession to the masses. They have decided to remain nameless.

Once again, we are deeply sorry.

They made a beautifully tragic couple. He was a scrawny, whipped spit-fuck shell of man. She was a holier-than-thou , God fearing masochist who dated pagans for fun.

The man shell had never dated before, so he was glad that the God-fearing masochist was willing to submit to his company. The God-fearing masochist had dated before, but not for several weeks. She was glad to make herself whole again, to fill herself with righteous, cardboard feelings of self-assurance. She was needed, and she needed to be needed. He was afraid. The world’s most beautiful pair of idiots. So innocent. So pure.

The couple would sit down to bi-weekly arguments. God would tell the God-fearing masochist to break away from the man shell, the pale little fucker who was too scared and weak to lift his own pride out of the gutter. And then there was the sex that followed, but sex is a strong word.

They would dry-hump in her room. Clothes had to stay on. God created humans in his image. And God has very low self-esteem. The only orgasms were accidental ones that resulted from repeated, chafe-inducing rubbing on one’s genitals on the inside of one’s undergarments. Sex is the wrong word. A more accurate term would be “jock itch.”

They both wanted more, but God and Santa Claus were watching.

But then one night came the laying on of hands. The God-fearing masochist couldn’t contain herself anymore. She unbuttoned her pants and pulled them down, but not far enough for God to see her bush while he watched through the ceiling. After all, that would make God uncomfortable. And God apparently smites those who make him uncomfortable. See: Sodom. See also: Gomorrah. See also: homosexuals.

The man shell looked at this exposed woman, a women who had always been a God-fearing masochist. In an instant, she was as depraved as he. She wanted more than dry humping and the self-resentment that followed every painful, chafing humping. She placed the man shell’s pathetic, trembling hand on her clitoris.

In the heat of the moment, this scrawny, pale spit fuck of a man reacts as though he’s been given the keys to the carnal Vatican. He pushes inside her with his finger, and she instantly regrets everything. A knock comes as the door from God-knows-who and the disappointing hand job ceases after less than 10 seconds. The God-fearing masochist insists that God knocked on the door to halt the egregious, contractual transgression that had occurred. The dumbass man shell was then smitten by the God-fearing masochist, the greatest of his agents.

Then the man shell, this horrible, tiny, pitiful shit-for-brains douche bag lets the God-fearing masochist explain how it’s all his fault. It was practically rape and get the hell out and don’t come back for several days until I decide I want to anger God again.

He cries. his tears are hot, salty snakes sliding down the sides of his face. He hates himself, goes home, shave s his face to alter his appearance – to change the awful person who the God-fearing masochist declares him to be. Two weeks later. It all happens again. The world’s most beautiful pair of idiots. So innocent. So pure.